Fussfeed Real Talk: The Pressure to Have It All by 30 – And Why I Finally Let Go

At 28, I was burnt out, constantly comparing my life to my friends in Canada, cousins in the UK, and influencers in Nigeria. Everywhere I turned, it seemed like everyone else had their life together — they were thriving in their careers, traveling the world, getting married, buying homes, and checking off milestones before 30. Meanwhile, I was stuck in a whirlwind of self-doubt and frustration, feeling like I was falling behind.

I spent endless nights scrolling through Instagram, watching my peers live what seemed like perfect lives. Friends were posting pictures with their children, showing off vacations, and sharing career achievements that left me questioning everything about my own journey. I’d ask myself, Why am I not there yet? What’s wrong with me? It felt like I was running a race where everyone else was miles ahead, while I couldn’t even find the starting line.

The pressure to “have it all” by 30 was suffocating. My life felt like it was in limbo, and I struggled with the fact that I wasn’t married yet, had no children, and still lived with my grandparents — something I often felt ashamed of. The idea of success that I had been fed for so long — the house, the partner, the stable career — felt so far out of reach. I began to wonder if I was doing something wrong, or if I had missed some crucial life memo that everyone else seemed to have figured out.

But as I continued down this path of comparison, the weight of expectation started to take a toll. The constant feeling of inadequacy, the doubt in my choices, and the exhaustion from trying to keep up with everyone else left me feeling overwhelmed. It became clear that no matter how hard I tried to meet those milestones, it would never be enough. And that’s when I realized I needed to step back.

I decided to let go. Let go of the comparison, the unrealistic expectations, and the idea that my worth was tied to ticking off societal boxes. I stopped asking Why am I not there yet? and started asking What do I truly want for myself? It wasn’t about keeping up with anyone else anymore — it was about finding my own path, my own pace, and embracing the journey without feeling like I had to rush to some imaginary finish line.

And then, something shifted.

I found peace in the quiet moments of reflection, and I began to trust that God had a plan for me that was different from the world’s timeline. I began to understand that my worth was not tied to the milestones I had or hadn’t reached by 30. I realized that I was exactly where I was meant to be, even if it didn’t look like the picture-perfect life I had envisioned.

God reminded me that His timing is perfect, and that I didn’t need to have all the answers or meet the world’s expectations to feel complete. Every season of life has its purpose, and I was learning to embrace the season I was in — without comparison, without fear, and without pressure.

Now, at 30, I no longer feel the weight of “having it all.” I have let go of the belief that I need to match everyone else’s timeline. I’ve learned to trust God’s plan for my life and rest in the assurance that I am enough, exactly as I am. My journey is uniquely mine, and it’s okay that it looks different from others.

I may not have everything figured out, but I’ve found peace. For the first time, I’m at ease with where I am. I’m trusting the journey, trusting God, and embracing the unfolding beauty of my story, because things are starting to fall into place just as I’ve imagined and prayed for.

I hope you do the same and don’t let the expectations of others rob you of your purpose, joy, and peace.